Love brought you together but as life's stressors continually press, your relationship may suffer. Having children, losing a job, suspicions or jealousy, moving house, emptying the nest, addictions, abuse from childhood or previous relationships, health issues, etc. can be a catalyst for relationship breakdown. It's rare that a partner is blind sided completely by their partner leaving (though this appears to be increasing) but rather a gradual drifting apart that is the greatest threat to relational satisfaction.
As it is often difficult to percieve a slowly drifting separation, here are some signs that you and your partner should seek help:
- You remember and dwell on the negative aspects of the relationship more than the positive
- Conflict rarely gets resolved
- There is violence or abuse (physical, emotional, drug or alcohol)
- You rarely laugh together
- You feel you or your partner are having or in danger of having an affair
- You avoid sharing your true feelings with your partner to minimise conflict
- Depression or other health problems are recurring
- There seems to be secrets and trust is missing
- Loss of desire for sexual intimacy
If at all possible, the therapist benefits from having the couple come together for couples counselling or at least the initial assessment to hear from both individuals their desires within the relationship. We realize that one partner may not feel like therapy is necessary so we are willing to work with either partner individually.
With a therapist present, the couple has the opportunity to voice issues in a safe environment and the therapist focuses on communication styles that are hindering resolution. It is often destructive communication patterns that can be tweaked to improve conflict resoultion satisfaction. Working from a caring state of mind and using communication skills taught in therapy, the couple can rebuild trust and intimacy. Your relationship is worth it, invest now!
We must note that not all couples seek to improve their relationship but desire individual support as the relationship dissolves. We are happy to help in this capacity as well.